Holy Family 8.1.17 School of Love
God tells us to love one another, and to love our neighbour.
Our neighbour is anyone with whom we come in contact, whether regularly or once
only.
He knew we would find that command difficult so He gave us
the family as a kind of training ground for growth in charity!
We can practise on those we see every day; learn to love
them despite their faults; and try to make ourselves more agreeable to them despite
our faults.
It is not so easy to love others as it sounds. Other things
we try to be good at require practice. Cricketers practise in the nets and work
on their technique. Musicians practise all the time. Every profession requires
study and application.
Loving our neighbour requires practice too. We learn from
where we went wrong… I shouldn’t have said that… I should have been more
considerate… I should not have ignored that person etc etc.
These things are every day challenges and we all face them
whether we live in a family or not, but the family setting is more intense
because the members are thrust together.
If we are learning from all this - both the successes and
the failures - we are on the way to becoming better Christians, growing in
holiness.
Today the Church celebrates the feast of the Holy Family. It
could seem to us that their holiness is way out of our reach.
Two members of the family never committed a single sin, and
it is unlikely the third member committed many.
There never would have been an argument in that family. Is
that a realistic model?
Well, to compare again with other things we do, we can gain
crumbs from the table of the masters.
We will never play tennis like Federer or sing like
Pavarotti, but we can learn at least some tips from them, and improve our
performance.
This also works for the Holy Family. If every husband spoke
to his wife like he was Joseph and she was Mary, how many arguments would that
cut down? He will not be as good as Joseph but he will be better than he was.
And the same can be said for every other relationship:
parent-child, child-parent, brother-sister, in laws as well.
We are in the business of improving, growing in holiness. We
learn as we go.
Children are raised in families (ideally, according to God’s
plan) so that they can mature spiritually as they mature physically and
mentally.
They learn to give way to others (siblings especially); to
share their possessions, to forgive injuries. They learn that the whole
universe does not revolve around them; that they are part of a much larger
family of people, God’s people in fact.
They also learn to obey lawful authority, beginning with
their parents.
Family life - when it works - is the best formation, and
this is why God established it.
All things should be done in love and in proper order, as
the epistles of the New Testament will constantly teach.
Again, ideals are not usually reached, but we can gain
crumbs from the table. We learn to make the best of whatever we have.
Many people are refined by the fire of unhappy family life
and still turn out alright.
Many will repent afterwards for the damage they did in
earlier life.
Lost ground can be made up.
If all else fails we must learn, as individuals, to love
even if not loved in return. We have to pray for the conversion and salvation
of every person, however unlikely we might feel it to be.
And, always looking to ourselves, removing the plank from
our own eye first. Always self-reflection is required.
The family teaches us when it works, and when it does not.
We can see what should have happened even if it did not. We will get it more
right each time - with the grace of God and the prayer of Mary and Joseph.
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