3rd Sunday after Epiphany 25.1.09 Heal my soul
We have adapted the centurion’s prayer. We pray that the Lord will heal not our servant but our soul. A simple transposing of prayer? On closer inspection we realize that it is actually a lot harder to heal a soul than a servant. A servant might have only one illness, but our soul can have several ailments at the one time, and some of those very hard to set right.
A typical human soul might contain traces of all of the seven deadly sins: pride, gluttony, lust, avarice, anger, sloth, envy... expressing itself in not-loving of neighbour, not taking up one’s cross willingly, definitely not forgiving those who offend one (cf today’s epistle).
So it is harder to heal a soul than a servant. Harder, not for Almighty God, but for us. To be healed in the soul means we have to want to be healed. It means that if we are proud, for example, we have to want to be humble. If we are lustful we have to want to be pure in mind and heart. If we have enemies we have to want to love them. We have to want Him to heal every shadow of sin, every bad habit, root out every bit of darkness and poison. There is, in fact, an awful lot of healing requried.
Only say the word! Can that possibly be enough? Well, it is enough if we take it from God’s side. He wants to heal us of these things, and He can clean out a soul just as easily as He can do everything else, being Omnipotent.
The only thing that makes soul-healing hard is that we might not want to be healed, having become attached to bad habits and false attitudes.
Those very things will incline us to want to stay as we are. So the sickness of soul can mean we want to stay sick in soul! I may think I want to be healed but in fact I have set up barriers to how far the Lord can reach in and change me.
‘Heal my soul’ is saying things I do not fully understand. Therefore, an implied part of the prayer is ‘Lord, help me to understand what I am saying, what I am asking for; to understand, agree with it, and want it.’
If my soul were healed totally I would be a saint and on fire with holiness and right into the fray, not just dabbling around the edges as usual.
Every time we line up for Holy Communion we are signing up for that change within us. Theoretically we agree with it, but to get right down to detail is a lot more demanding.
It might take more than one time to get it right. We receive Holy Communion many times without obvious improvement. Something is not getting through. It cannot be any lack in the power of God; it must be something in our desire to receive what He is offering.
It is His power and our effort. We cannot save ourselves, but we can put ourselves in the way of being saved; can seek healing for our souls. The more seriously we do that the more we can expect to see results.
Most people are ‘good’, so most people say. But look at the typical interaction between people and see the fruits. How much nastiness, bitterness, and anger there is, even in a family where everyone is supposed to love each other. There is a lot of bad fruit about if the fruits of charity are supposed to be evident. The epistle today will make us suitably ashamed of what we are not getting right. Yes, we do need healing.
We need it and we want it, or we want to want it. May each non sum dignus move us closer to where we need to be.
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